cry much?

Is it just me or does everyone cry at church? I cry every time I go to church, every service. I feel as if God is trying to tell me something. Do I need to get more involved with the church or what? I've always felt out of place at church and that's part of the reason I quit going and I've always felt jugded at church. When people see me they see piercings and tattoos and I think that is why they jugde me. In any case it's time to get more involved and start attending church more often.

So i'm addicted , like seriously addicted, to the show Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. Mom and I use to watch it everyday. We'd be up all hours of the night watching this show!

It's crack via tv

But anyways, I honestly love this show, and it got me thinking: maybe I should get into law enforcement.
Maybe, I dont know if I have the stomach to listen to rape victims tell of the account, or deal with a child in that kind of case.I can deal with drugs, and murder but rape is someting totally different. You never get use to seeing it, or hearing about it. And when you do, it's time for a new job.

Anywho, they do have psychologist who get to see the case as well. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE psychology :)
so maybe I could do that?!?!?!
I think it's time to check out my old love interest [psychology] again. I love knowing what makes people tick and why they do what they do.

So the profession I'm looking into was inspired by a tv show.

haha

oh, how the world turns, and life is good!

C.O.D

Call of Duty

so everyone has a calling, something that they were destined to do with their life, a duty to their country, spouse, or themselves.

well i can honestly say that; at age 20, with a baby on the way; that im still confused as to what my calling is.

 Ive always loved cognitive psychology but heard that its almost impossble to get into the field, so i decided to follow my other passion, forensic pathology, but im afraid that i will never become either one of these.

 all i see in my future is school and a lot of it. i guess you can say im a pessimistic kinda of person who almost never sees the "light at the end of the tunnel".

 i know im a smart girl and have the ability to make it in both of these fields of science, i just dont see it happening.

so i guess why question is, how do you know what you calling is?

attachments?

mom and i are comparing her current mixer and her dream mixer with like a zillion attachments.
so why didn't she get the dream one first?
she didn't wanna spend the money then.
haha it's still the same price now!
i don't even know how to use a mixer, so giving it to me is no bueno.
i enjoy cooking, but TBH i'd never really use a mixer.
oh well, some get it and some don't.
she gets it
i do not
lol wow differently we view mixers :]

women's day book

Outside my window it is dark and wet.
I am thinking of the day I finally get to met my daughter.
I am thankful that I have a loving family who is supporting me during my pregnancy.
In the kitchen the dinner I cooked.
I am wearing prego jeans, yellow V neck, and a Pink Mossy Oak jacket.
I am going to start stretching my ears again :]
I am wondering what Aurora looks like.
I am reading "Eve" but i should be reading the play "A Dollhouse" for english.
I am hoping that the weird movie on the tv will soon be over.
I am looking forward to getting my degree in forensic pathology.
I am hearing dad make a glass of tea.
Around the house are tons of memories of my childhood.
I am pondering whether or not to put my jammies on.
One of my favorite things is looking at the ultra sound pictures.
A few plans for the rest of the week include reading the play for english, paying off my pilates chair, and going to see about the apartment. 

 

Write and share your own daybook.

http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

judgement day is everyday

.Judge Me.

We all have one judgement day, right?

Wrong

everyone gets judged everyday.

for the clothes we wear

money we make

how smart we are

good or bad habits

and so on and so on

I think the day I realized all this was when I started getting peircings, tattoos, and smoking.

I lost friends due to these things, I lost teacher's respect, even some family started to look at me differently.

It's sad and almost amusing to see how differently we look at the world once the mold is broken.

It's not like I killed someone or anything like that.

I just permantly changed the physical me.

But no one ever thought it strange when women started dolling themselves up or wearing heels, because these changes are just for the moment.

We all pay a price by leaving "normal" behind.

But as children we were told to be ourselves, be individual, be unique, yet when we show our true colors and what really makes us happy it's scoffed at, almost looked down upon like it's wrong to be that way.

Why is it so wrong for the want, the drive, the thrist to be different?

As a child, I always wanted to be like the other girls; have the long hair, be scared of bugs and take dance; but as I got older I realized I wasn't obssesed with the color pink, cheerleading or getting the "hottest" guy.

I wanted to get the good grades, have a life other than inside the walls of the school, and be myself.

I was one of the few girls I knew that had a thirst for something more.

I was facinated with peircings, hair dye, and tattoos.

And as I started exploring these things, I genuinely enjoyed them, I began to notice how people started looking at me differently.

I had some crazy hair

burgandy, blue, red, black, purple, brown

Then I got the metal

two in the ears, the nose, the lip, the belly, the crack, the toe, the tongue

AND

then the tattoos

six total [so far]

and because of all these things I'm apparently

Not as smart anymore, not as respectable anymore, and obviously a bad person.

But unlike alot of the "good" kids I know I've NEVER done drugs or the sort.

Yes, I smoked. Yes, I drank. [pregnant now so I wont]

But that was the extent of my bad behavior.

So because I broke a mold and stepped into my own skin I'm not normal.

But then...

WHAT IS NORMAL?

normal is what YOU make it

and for me

normal is...

peircings

gauges

tattoos

dyed hair

and

smoking

So go create you're own sense of normal and break the mold of what we are suppose to be and how we are suppose to look or act

today

So I kind of have this morning routine; turn the alarm off, sleep for thirty more minutes, get out of bed, find some breakfast, shower, and watch music videos until I have to leave. But in March all that is going to change, because my daughter Aurora will finally be here and keeping me very busy. All throughout high school I told everyone that I was never having babies or getting married. Now I'm starting a family with my fiancee, his son, and our daughter, and I couldn't imagine life any other way. I'm nervous, anxious, and excited about the day i finally get to meet her for the first time. I feel her moving and kicking all the time and I've loved her since the day I knew she existed. And I'm very much so looking forward to the day that my morning routine is changed all because of her.